After
by Dying-To-Fit-In
Summary: *Post Light-SPOILER ALERT!* It's been 2 years since the ending of the FAYZ, but the teens continue to face the fears and anxieties throughout their now "normal" lives. Diana continues to grieve the loss of Caine, while Sam and Astrid work out the kinks in the road of love and lust. *If this gets good reviews, I'll continue it*
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Diana looked at the clock on her nightstand. 3:51. She was laying on her back, staring up at the ceiling. Sleep was evading her, like it often did.

Two years. It had been exactly two years since it all ended. Since the barrier had come down. Since Gaia had been destroyed. Since Caine had died saving them all.

Tears welled up in Diana's eyes, and began to trickle down her cheeks. Then they began to pour, all the while she was scrubbing angrily at them. It'd been two years, and she still wasn't over Caine. She was mad at herself, furious, even.

Diana's hand found its way to her stomach. Her mind drifted to Gaia. She wondered, for what felt like the millionth time, what would have become of their daughter had she not been possessed by the gaiaphage. Her body shook with her sobs at the thought of a happy family. Caine, Diana, and the baby.

There was a knock on the door, before it opened slightly. A familiar porcelain face peeked in, blue eyes and blonde hair barely visible in the faint light that crept in from the hallway.

"Are you all right?" Astrid asked quietly. Of course, she wasn't expecting her to be all right. Astrid had comforted Diana almost every night since she'd moved in with Sam and Astrid.

Sitting up, Diana gave one last angry scrub at her cheeks. "I'll survive," she answered, her voice thick with unshed tears.

Astrid padded silently across the room and slid into the bed next to Diana, patting her shoulder consolingly. The first time she had done this, Diana had resisted Astrid's comfort, but now she rested her head against the other girl's shoulder, drawing a sense of relief from it. Eventually her tears slowed, and then stopped, and her ragged sobs became infrequent hiccups.

Diana remembered a time she had hated Astrid. She had thought Astrid was too perfect-too pretty and too smart. But that felt like ancient history now. Slowly, after the barrier had come down, Diana and Astrid had grown close. All of the past hatred between them long forgotten.

"It's really been two years, huh?" Astrid finally commented, breaking the silence between them.

"It has. Not like the rest of the world cares." Diana added.

Shrugging, Astrid gave a tired smile. "I'm sure a few scientists are still trying to figure out the anomaly that was the FAYZ." She yawned.

"Go to bed, Astrid. I'll be all right for the rest of the night."

"If you insist." Astrid paused in the door, looking back at Diana. "Good night."

"Yeah, night, Astrid."

Lifting the alarm clock on the nightstand beside her bed, Diana slid a small blade from a pencil sharpener out from under it. Tears slowly fell down her cheeks as she slid up the sleeve of her shirt and dragged the blade repeatedly across her skin until the fresh, shallow cuts produced drops of blood.

Astrid left the light off as she crept quietly into her room, not wanting to wake Sam. She slid in next to him, pulling the covers up.

"You're back." Sam said groggily, pulling Astrid against his warm body. She shivered, and he pressed his lips against her temple.

"I was with-"

"Diana. I know." Sam finished for her. "I'm glad you're back."

Astrid tilted her head up, her lips finding Sam's easily in the dark. Sam held her tighter against him, and Astrid laid her hands against his chest.

"I love you, Sam." She whispered against his lips.

"I love you, too, Astrid." Sam replied, before kissing her softly.

They remained that way until the finally fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Diana awoke with the sun in her eyes. She groaned and pulled herself into an upright position.

The sleeve of Diana's shirt was still rolled up, exposing her blood stained wrist. She had been too overcome with grief to bother cleaning it up.

Removing her clothes in front of her full-length bathroom mirror, Diana inspected herself. She'd become much prettier since the ending of the FAYZ. She no longer had the appearance of the starving girl she'd once been. Her hair was healthy and long, and her cheeks weren't hollow anymore.

But still, Diana couldn't shake the depression that had hung over her head like a storm cloud, no matter how great things were. She knew she should've been happy, like Sam and Astrid, but how could she? How could she be content with her life when Caine didn't have a life at all?

Tears threatened to fall from Diana's eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. Her eyes were still sore from the crying she'd done the night before. Blinking made them sting.

Diana stepped into the stand-up shower, cranking the hot water on as far as it would go. Scalding water sprayed from the nozzle, fogging up the glass door of the shower.

Hot water, Diana knew, was a luxury and she was thankful every time she used it. It almost made her laugh, comparing a shower like this to the cold lake she used to bathe in during the FAYZ.

Grasping a wash cloth in her hand, Diana began scrubbing the crusted blood from her arm. The small wounds reopened, and the blood that welled up was quickly rinsed off by the running water.

"Damn it!" Diana hissed, holding the cloth against her wrist. She was used to the pain, but the scalding water drumming against it was still uncomfortable.

After the shower, Diana pulled on her clothes for the day, feeling like the undead as she slipped into her usual morning routine. She wore black tights, a black sweater that dipped in the back, with sleeves that covered her whole arm, and black boots.

She stared at herself hard in the mirror. Admittedly, she almost looked good. But still her eyes were too dead, and her mouth was too set.

For the longest time, Astrid had been telling her that she was depressed, that she didn't have to feel like this. But Diana knew that this was how she was now, and no amounts of medication or therapy could help her recover. Supposedly people healed with time, but you couldn't heal the dead, and that was what Diana was inside. Dead.

The urge to punch her reflection welled inside of Diana, and she had to tear her gaze away. Her breaths came faster, matching the quickening pace of her heart. She wanted to scream, wanted to break things and hurt people until they were as miserable as she was. But it was pointless, because Diana knew no one could ever have felt loss as terribly as she did. No one was as self-hating as she was. She was alone in her way of thinking and her emotions.

Flinging the door open, Diana marched out of the bathroom and towards the kitchen.

A familiar voice sounded from inside the kitchen, and Diana paused in the hall, trying to identify it. The voice was female, and hardened from experience. It was-

"Lana!"


	3. Chapter 3

Lana's eyes narrowed as Diana bolted into the kitchen, her body going rigid at the chance the other girl might throw herself at her. But Diana didn't throw herself at Lana, instead she stopped several feet in front of her, her smile disappearing as though it'd never been there.

"T'sup?" Lana greeted in a very Sam-like gesture that almost made her laugh. Almost. Lana didn't laugh much anymore.

Diana looked from Sam, to Astrid, then back to Lana. Lana thought she saw anger swell in Diana's eyes, and that her cheeks were growing redder.

"What is she doing here?" Diana practically snarled.

Smirking, Lana replied, "it's great to see you, too!"

"Cut the bull, Healer. Oh, wait. You're not that important anymore."

"I enjoy being retired." Lana's jaw was clenched, her hands balling into fists.

It was kind of true, Lana did like being normal sometimes. After the FAYZ, she'd found pleasure in giving herself small wounds, knowing they would have to heal normally. But that had grown old, and Lana began to miss the importance that came with being the Healer. Diana could never know that, though.

Leaning back against the counter, Lana pulled out a package of cigarettes from one pocket, and a lighter from another. She removed a cigarette, and slid it between her teeth.

"You can't smoke that in here." Astrid informed her, speaking up for the first time since Diana had entered the room.

Staring Astrid in the eye, Lana lit the cigarette anyway, causing Astrid's mouth to gape open in disbelief.

"I said you can't smoke that in here!" Astrid's hands moved from where they had been briefly rested on her stomach, clenching them into fists. Then, she stormed haughtily out of the room, Sam following her out.

Sam's eyes met Lana's before he left, and he gave her a small shrug. As if that substituted for an apology.

Unaffected by Astrid's outbreak, Lana stared at the empty space in front of her, taking long drags from her cigarette.

By no means did Lana enjoy smoking. She dreaded the perpetual need and the way it made her feel. But even more than that, she hated the way the addiction held her within its claws. Like the gaiaphage once had.

When she finished with her cigarette, Lana dropped it into the glass she'd been drinking from. She watched as the water extinguished the cigarette, turning it into a soggier version of itself.

Turning to Diana, who now sat in a chair, Lana cleared her throat, breaking the uneasy silence between them.

"We need to talk about Caine." Lana's voice was low and urgent.

Diana's eyes widened at the mere mention of his name. It had been so long since someone had acknowledged that Caine had once been alive. She craved to talk about him, even if people said horrific things. He was never a saint, she knew that.

"I miss him so much." Diana blurted, her eyes unexpectedly filling with tears she could not hold back.

"Uh, yeah. I'm sure you do." Lana mumbled awkwardly, not knowing how to comfort Diana.

Scrubbing her tears from her cheeks, Diana offered a small smile. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to behave like that."

Lana nodded. "It's cool."

"What did you want to say?"

"Nothing. It's not that important anymore."

Diana stared at Lana with sad eyes. "Caine's important to me," she spoke softly.

Clenching her callused hands into fists, Lana nodded understandingly. She inhaled a deep breath. Exhaled. Inhaled again.

"Diana, Caine isn't dead."

* * *

Someone knocked softly on the bathroom door, startling Astrid. She stiffened, standing up from where she'd been crouched next to the toilet, and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Come in," she croaked.

The door slowly opened, revealing a sympathetic looking Sam. He crouched down beside her, smoothing back her long hair, that she'd sloppily pulled into a ponytail.

"Are you all right?" He asked her.

Astrid shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. She didn't know why she suddenly felt sad, so she buried her face into Sam's neck, trying to hide her face from him.

Soothingly, Sam rubbed circles on Astrid's back. Her tears soaked his neck, but he didn't ask why she was upset. Instead, he held her silently, wishing he had the power to make her happy again.

"You're beautiful." Sam said after a long while.

Pulling back from him, Astrid looked at him with icy eyes. "I look like crap."

"No, you could never look like crap. You're always beautiful. Even when you wake up in the morning, and your hair is everywhere."

This earned a smile from Astrid. "I would kiss you if I hadn't just emptied the contents of my stomach orally."

Sam helped Astrid stand up, and watched her admiringly as she brushed her teeth.

Astrid had become even more beautiful in the last two years than Sam would've thought humanly possible. Her hair was longer, her chest a little fuller, and her eyes were even icier. Even at times like this, Sam wanted her.

When Astrid finished brushing her teeth, she caught his gaze, giving him a little smirk. Sam smiled back at her, folding her into his arms.

Sliding her arms around Sam's neck, Astrid kissed Sam. It was gentle at first, but it quickly became deeper. His hands were everywhere on her, urging her closer against his body. She was warm, and soft under his fingertips.

"Not today, Sam." Astrid said quietly, pulling away from him.

"Are you okay? You look sick still."

"Yeah. Everything's fine. I really just need some sleep." She lied.

Once in their bed, Astrid curled up against Sam. She really did feel tired, on top of her nausea.

But being next to Sam, her breathing matched with his, she felt good. Safe. Healthy.

Astrid fell asleep smiling.


End file.
